i am huixiu, NOT xiuhui, huixin, huixui etc. stop misspelling my name.
08apr. fifteen-to-be.
coral secondary school(singapore), concert band, flute/piccolo.
(L) : sunflowers, calla lilies, stars, music, love and pretty things.
(H) : teletubbies, barney, and all stupid things purple.
laugh, cry, scream, bitch. i can do whatever you can, and more.
i don't see why you should judge me, if i don't judge you.
in love, with my personal homer simpson, except hotter, less stupid.
msn || coral.band || 2/2.08 || 1/2.08 || facebook|| friendster
Sunday, May 13, 2007 @ 5/13/2007 08:44:00 AM
.

i know its a bit early.
but i just gotta let this out.
before i forget why.
before it gets worse.

boy, im sorry.
it was love.
this love of ours.
it took us for a joyride.
but this ride is ending soon.
everything seemed so perfect.
just so wonderful.
it seemed like it couldnt get any better.
but dear boy,
things started to change.
since the day i broke down.
i couldnt take it anymore.

the reason for the tears.
wasnt because of just a bad day.
it was because of a broken promise.
you've promised before.
many times.
that you wouldnt do it again.
yet you did.
once, twice.
i forgave you.
dear boy,
it may seem that easy to forgive.
but have you wondered.
what am i supposed to do.
if the forgiveness isnt just for that one time.
but for many times to come.
everything has a limit.
and i've reached mine.
any further and i might just kill myself.

you asked me to give you another chance.
i tried.
but i cant.
because i find it hard to trust you anymore.
i'm sorry.
for everything.
for all the guilt i put you through.
the forever i wasted.
i'm sorry.
i know sorry isnt going to help.
but i dont know what else to say.

dear boy,
please dont think of it as your fault.
it was mine.
all along.
it was me being so stupid.
so stubborn.
and so naive.
for thinking that forever really wouldnt end.
please continue to have that smile.
that smile that cheers everyone up.
dont cry.
because im not worth your tears,
dont bleed.
because im not worth your blood.
and dont miss this love.
because you're wasting your time.
i've wasted your time.
and i've wasted your love.
thank you for everything.
the smiles, the laughter and the care.
i know its going to be difficult.
but you must let go.
dont lie to yourself anymore.
you know whats going on.
i know you're going to hate me for this.
i dont blame you.

boy,
promise you'll pull yourself back together.
and find another her.
dont repeat your mistakes.
and move on.
i'm sorry.

from now onwards,
we'll be nothing more then huixiu and wayne.
and we'll be ourselves.

my dear boy,
thank you for everything you've given.
for everything you sacrificed.
but my dear,
its over.